I spent my free time trying to do spells and worshipping Satan and everything he filled my mind with. I spent money on a lot of books, incense, and black candles, Tarot cards and so much junk.
I spent $350 on learning Transcendental Meditation. I was newly divorced so this was my new world that helped me cope. Did it really help me? No not really. Even my two best friends, Kay and Judy didn't know all I was into. During this time I reconnected with Church. I grew up in the Lutheran Church, but I had no ties there, but my good friends were Catholic so I started classes and joined their Church. I loved it and felt safe and happy there. I stopped all the black magic and Satanism, but still did the TM.
Then I met John. He was a born again Baptist. This was a whole new world for me. It was a world I didn't understand. I didn't know God, nor did I want to. He would take away my fun, and He would make me give up my worldly pleasures! Even though I was no longer openly doing Satanism, I was still controlled by him. My world was one of external pleasures, money, sex, drinking, and just evil. Don't judge me. I was being what I had become. How was John attracted to me? I played a good game. Parts of me were nice, and the bad parts didn't always surface.
As John and I got more involved, he witnessed to me, and slowly got me to a better place. Besides that I had a sister-in-law who prayed non-stop for me. God honored that and during a very tense time with my mother took us off to Tucson to visit John's brother and his praying wife. Sherry prayed for me intentionally and one morning I heard a sermon on TV she had on. I thought I was alone in her kitchen, but she was praying in the next room. I heard a sermon on Revelation, the end times, and the fate of those who were not born again. It scared me totally to death. I didn't want to go to hell
I wanted to choose to give my life to Christ and be saved! I did on that day and was immediately more joyful than I had ever been!
It is a journey I have never regretted. It has been a process of learning, failing, and success. I have grown, and learned to love Jesus as a best friend! It is a personal relationship, and He grows sweeter every day!
If you don't know Him, please think about it. The huge bonus is you have no fear of death. You will be His and Heaven will be your eternal home! The alternative is torment in hell forever. No one would choose that! Ask God to forgive you, acknowledge Jesus is God's son who died for your sins, and came back to life. Then invite Him into your heart and live your life through Him! You will never regret it!
